Nerd-douchebags

So, this post will be short because I'm posting from my phone, but it's funny. Today, my friend and I were talking, and it somehow came up that I am initially attracted to pedants. I don't know what it is, but at first, pedantic guys are just extremely attractive to me. Yes, I do realise this is a problem. I'm getting to that. My friend did not know what "pedantic" means. Upon explaining it to him, his first reaction was, "So, like a douchebag." Trying to defend myself, I insisted that it was not at all like a douchebag. However, he insisted that pedants are the douchebags of the nerds, and eventually I had to agree. Feeling defeated, I sadly exclaimed, "Oh no, I'm attracted to the douchebags of the nerds!" to which he responded,"So you ARE normal!"

Littlefoot is the reason I'm weird, I can't help it.

When I was little, I was obsessed with The Land Before Time, except I didn't know it as that because I only ever watched it in German. I didn't even know it wasn't originally in German because when you're little you don't notice when the mouths of the characters match up very badly with the words even for a cartoon. I also didn't realise Hercules was originally in English, or The Last Unicorn. Anyway, back to The Land Before Time. I really wanted to be a dinosaur because of these movies. I only had 1-4 but it didn't matter because they were amazing and I'm sure beyond those four the  rest of them are lame because they weren't a part of my childhood and also I doubt I could find them in German. Whenever I got to a slide, I would pretend to be Cera in that one scene in the first movie where she's huffing and puffing about how she doesn't need anyone and then she stomps and falls down that slide to the place where the T-Rex is sleeping.

That was not the only strange thing I did on account of this movie.

This is going to be very anticlimactic.

I always enjoyed the part where they thought they found the Grossen Tal, and I never actually knew what "Tal" meant even though I speak German, I just translated it in my head as "The Big Awesome Destination with Food for Littlefoot." Anyway, anyone who has seen the first movie remembers where they think they find this place but then all the leaves get eaten and the kids freak out thinking that it's been ruined before they could make it there. I loved watching the dinosaurs eat the leaves. That scene in particular reminded me of broccoli so whenever I would eat broccoli I would pretend that I was a dinosaur eating those leaves.

But that isn't the best part. There are also times where you see individual characters eating leaves and for some reason this just looked really amazingly delicious and I wanted to eat leaves like Littlefoot, and so I did.

Yes, that is what this entire post was leading up to. When I was little, I used to eat leaves to be like Littlefoot in The Land Before Time.

But that does bring me to something else: my grandma bought these cookies that most definitely tasted like leaves but I couldn't tell anyone because then they'd ask me how I know what leaves taste like and I guess I'm better at admitting stuff like this when I'm full of medicine. Yes, this is the second post I am going to use the excuse that I'm medicated right now, but it's true.

Also, I was going to find a picture of the fake "Big Awesome Destination with Food for Littlefoot" but apparently searching Google images "littlefoot finds the great valley but not really" doesn't work very well. Google should know what I'm talking about!

Edit: Someone amazing has given me the gift of... the fake great valley!

See? Definitely broccoli.

You nerd.

I get really unnecessarily aggravated when girls are like "I'm going to do this thing to look nerdy because guys think that's hot" because they think guys think nerdy girls are hot but what they don't realise is that first off, doing nerdy things doesn't make them nerdy girls and secondly, guys don't actually think nerdy girls are hot, they think hot girls doing nerdy things are hot, in which case these girls who aren't actually nerds and are not actually interested in whatever nerdy thing they are attempting to become a part of might actually be onto something, but it's still really annoying. Being an actually nerdy girl and the subject of social torment for my entire life and never sought after by the types of guys these pretentious girls expect to impress by doing some nerdy thing, I find this entire thing very confusing and almost a little devestating and maybe I wish I were hot that way my nerdiness would pay off except then I realise that I don't want to impress the type of guys these girls do. Of course, these girls always want to do the most stereotypically nerdy things which is even more insulting and although I do in fact do some of these stereotypical things there are also a lot of stereotypical nerdy things that I either do not do or am so bad at that I only do in the privacy of my bedroom in the middle of the night, and honestly there are a lot of reasons that I am nerdy that these girls don't even consider trying to do because I guess they don't understand nerds well enough to be pretending to be one. I guess there's only one really stereotypically nerdy thing that I do that these girls say they want to do but never get around to doing because they realise that they can not actually enjoy the fun that is to be had while playing Dungeons and Dragons high on middle-of-the-night-ness and soft drinks and cookies, but they all insist they want to be a part of my Dungeons and Dragons group anyway until they show up for one meeting and decide that it's not worth the work to try to make themselves more attractive for guys who in my opinion aren't even worth any work to begin with. Of course, they find playing a game more difficult than doing make up or hair or spending an hour in the shower or spending ridiculous sums of money on clothing to impress these guys. If I were naturally hot and interested in that type of guy and could choose spending my time on preparing to be seen in public when honestly nobody even cares what I am wearing because I'm so sexy or playing Dungeons and Dragons every few weekends, I'd definitely go for the latter! But I guess that's because that's the choice I make, anyway, even though because I am not naturally super-mega-sexy-hot-fine I end up just making a bunch of socially inept but awesome guy friends I'd never date and dating an awesome but certainly not typical guy, and I love him to death but I know these girls would not be interested which also is relieving because I can not compete with their sexiness, although he thinks I'm pretty, but now I'm getting off topic.

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not even sure what guys these girls think will be impressed by Dungeons and Dragons but I'm pretty sure it's hot guys who also pretend to be nerdy. So both of them are pretending to be nerdy in which case I'm not sure why either of them even bother. And all a guy has to do to convince a girl he's nerdy is wear glasses and then she fawns all over him and pretends to like video games and he pretends that he really likes girls who like video games but really he just likes her because she's hot. I don't understand all these girls who suddenly say they are attracted to nerdy guys when what they really mean is "hots guys wearing glasses on Macbooks in a coffee shop." I don't even know how that became the modern definition of nerdy, but I almost wish it would work for the girls, too, that way they would stop asking to join me for Dungeons and Dragons and then deciding after making a character that it's too much work and apparently not fun. Can't they just wear glasses and sit on their Macbooks in coffee shops, too?

I think I should probably not try to understand strange social... things while medicated and sleep deprived.

For anyone wondering, this is what Dungeons and Dragons looks like, minus the stuffed animal, ignore that:

See? It's just a bunch of papers and dice and pop and books and pencils and napkins and wait why in the world is there nail polish? Oh yeah, because my cousin is crazy and she wanted to paint all the guys' nails. She isn't one of the girls this post is directed at, though. She actually shows up to more than one meeting and enjoys killing things with her paladin. I think mostly she shows up to harass the guys but even then at least she isn't showing up to impress them. Maybe I need to think about this some more but probably I should do that when I'm no longer on anti-nausea medication.

This is completely unrelated, but my medicine is called ONDANSETRON isn't that the coolest thing ever? Also, I like to write it in all caps because it looks a lot more impressive that way. Look what it made me do to my agenda, and I know it's not really that interesting or funny but at the time it was freaking hilarious:

Also, guess what I didn't catch up on this weekend?